Fatman has left the building

According to Charlie, moving a waterbed is like trying to move a dead fat man. Having little experience with moving actual dead fat men, I can only imagine that he is right. Charlie moved out last February and has been sleeping on an air-matress ever since. Sometimes he uses the couch. What do you do about leaks, I asked. Plastic Safeway shopping bags and superglue, quoth he. Now he has actually moved the waterbed. We tried to drain the bed as much as possible with the drain kit and the time allowed us. The draining process took hours longer than it should have using the kit supplied. We got it drained a bit more than half, then started disassembling the bed from around it. As soon as the side board was removed the entire bag slithered off the elevated bed frame and enveloped the bedroom floor. The three of us decided to attempt to carry the fatman out, but due to the lack of bones and the weight of water, we only managed to slide/roll the bag out the front door. Once on the front porch, we let the water out. Charlie and I also managed to pull the White out of its shed and load it onto a trailer for the trip north. That was the easier of the two jobs. It only required us to play leapfrog with three semi trucks.